Worksheet 78Hannahs Childhood Origins of Life Lenses

Lens

Opposite Lens

Unworthy: This life-lens doesn't apply to me.

Entitled:

My mother always made me feel like our family was better than others. I have to admit she spoiled me, too.

Abandonment-fearful: This life-lens doesn't really fit.

Intimacy-avoidant:

Although I was told I was special, I never felt anyone listened to me. Whenever I was sad or lonely, my parents told me how lucky I was to have all the toys, clothes, and luxuries I did. I decided it was better to never need anyone.

(continued)

(continued)

Worksheet 7-8 (continued)

Lens

Opposite Lens

Inadequate:

Perfectionistic:

Whenever I made a

My family was incredibly concerned about how we

mistake, my father

looked to other people. My parents were so critical

made me feel stupid.

that I tried to be perfect.

Worksheet 7-9

Hannah's Reflections tflCE

When I look back on my childhood, I realize that my family was pretty cold. They expected me to be perfect, and when I wasn't, I was treated with scorn. It's no wonder I feel anxious about being perfect and feel depressed when I'm not. There wasn't a lot of love in my family, so I've learned to keep my distance from others. I was taught that possessions and status are more important than people, so I've invested too much time and effort on getting the things I want. But I feel empty and lonely.

To uncover the origins of your life-lenses in the same way that Hannah did, follow these instructions and complete Worksheets 7-10 and 7-11.

1. Review each life-lens that you rated as 3 or above on your Problematic Life-lens Questionnaire (see Worksheet 7-1).

2. For each of those lenses, reflect on your childhood. Feel free to look back at Chapter 2 for help with ways of recalling past feelings and events.

3. Jot down anything from your childhood that you believe may have contributed to each of your problematic life-lenses.

4. After you complete this exercise, take some time to reflect on any new insights you've discovered and record them in Worksheet 7-11.

Worksheet 7-10 Childhood Origins of Life-Lenses

Lens

Opposite Lens

Unworthy:

Entitled:

Abandonment-fearful:

Intimacy-avoidant:

Inadequate:

Perfectionistic:

Guilty and blameworthy:

Guiltless:

Lens

Opposite Lens

Vulnerable:

Invulnerable:

Help-seeking:

Help-avoidant:

Under-control:

Over-control:

Worksheet 7-11

My Reflections

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